Odds And Ends Emporium

Hi there, my name's Matt and I'm here to tell you about Dennis's Odds and Edds in Portion. Where our motto is, there's a butt for every seat. And also, Money Talks BS Walks. We're open for business right now! Do you have your tetanus shot? Well boy, you're in luck. We have old rusty paint cans. More old rusty paint cans. Old rusty mallet. Old rusty whatever that is. Old rusty chains. We've got it all down here. Did you just buy all that paint from us but have nothing to paint with? Well you're in luck. We have old paint supplies. We got old rusty wheelbarrows. Just $30. Never before used Kenmore Grills. Just We have antique Metro Star soccer ball. Signed by all the players. If you want to know who signed the ball, then you're an idiot. You've got large garbage cans. Small garbage cans. $12 for the set. If you want to buy them separate, you can get the hell out of here. And remember our motto, don't let the door hit you where the good lord splits you. Stuffed animals. Do you Well we got those in spades. We have nets. Blonds. Redheads. Only head. That's right. We don't discriminate here. Time for a little spring cleaning. We have all the cleaning supplies you need. Dunkin Donuts bag included for free. Do you need a chain link fence? Well we have one piece of it for sale. Only $5. We have fabulous tea sets. This right here is a gorgeous antique silver set. Did you spend so much time shopping armbari Well don't you worry. We have. Tampons. Women's underwear. Also don't forget to ask about our vegetable product. And while you're taking care of ant flow, don't forget to ask us about our toilet paper. All of this for just $13. There's absolutely no refunds. No credit cards accepted. We accept cash, money, and also moaning. So if you have some of that, bring it on down. So bring the whole family down to Dennis's odds and ends in the pouring. And remember our motto. If you don't buy anything, you're automatically a cheap.